Ended the year with a quite literal bang

I'm taking an unplanned PTO day today because Reid seems to have a little cold. I am actually not feeling 100% myself, and the dog Riley woke up with an eye problem. I called the vet to ask what to do and they said to just "wait and see." That's not a game I'm good at, especially knowing that they'll be closed tomorrow for the holiday.  So I made the mistake of googling each of their symptoms and ended in an Internet rabbit hole with some very alarming diagnoses.  I discovered Riley could have conjunctivitis and go blind!! I also discovered that some people really, really love their dogs too much.

Anyway...to top things off, this morning I got up extra early to go to work to get some things I could do during baby naps. When I was leaving (Keep in mind, it's like -300 degrees here) the door didn't seem to want to work fully, but I didn't notice when I was backing out that it had only gone up about 3/4 of the way so the top of my Equinox clipped the bottom of the garage door on the way out!! I panicked and put on the brakes of course, and of course remembered to out the car in drive before releasing it. Ok actually I didn't remember to do that last part, so I kinda backed into it again.  My car luck!!

So I had to go wake up Matt in the middle of the night. Ok it's not the middle of the night; most of you probably get up way earlier than either of us--it was about 6:15. Probably not his favorite way I've ever woken him up. I showed him what happened, we shoved some screws back in, hammered them mostly into place and voila. I'm not entirely sure in the fog of it all if I was supposed to call the garage company to come today or what. For now, it's temporarily fixed--except I'm too scared to leave the house just in case, so we're all stuck inside with all the germs. Oh well. Happy New Year!


😮

Balance is the new black

Pre-motherhood I was like, “I have a demanding (but good) job and a rockin’ social life, but a calendar to keep all the business all straight.”  Post-baby Reid, I’m like, “HAHAAHAHAHAHAHA.” I now agree with the recent statements by some CEO I saw on the news (name escapes me and no time to look it up) that women can’t have it all, much to my personal dismay.

I’m drowning in laundry and can’t remember anything anymore that I don’t write down.  And I feel all alone in this. Because when I do take a personal moment to check my Facebook and Instagram news feeds, apparently I’m the only one who isn’t growing a garden, working out with a personal trainer and taking my kid to the zoo or fishing.

Obviously, I’m not alone this, I know that. So why do you/we pretend we’ve got it all together?? There just CANNOT be as many of you out there as social media and general office conversation would suggest.  I have to believe that. I have to.  If you’re reading this and you do in fact have and do it all, PLEASE tell me, how and where do you get the time?!  I like learning new things.

 In lieu of any responses, I would like to start a new hashtag, #MHM (messy house Monday). I figure it #MCM (man crush Monday, which I had to google several months back because I’m lame now) can be a thing, why can’t this?! It’s not Monday but you can see my living room nonetheless, complete with dog toys and hair, baby stuff, and general dirt haphazardly strewn about.  I caught the room on a pretty good day actually, but then again, dust doesn’t photograph well.

I’m usually all for fakin’ it til I make it but today something just changed in my head. I started thinking, really, what’s my (or my husband’s, for that matter) ROI on in fact dusting? On staying up 30 minutes late, sacrificing sleep to unload the dishwasher? My/our moods and health are worse off for it and just because I crossed that task off my list, it doesn’t help my mental state when there’s still 50 other “to dos” on it. The queen isn’t coming over for dinner tonight – or ever -  so I’m pretty sure the clutter sit there another day, week, or month.  It isn’t anything to be ashamed of, right?!  I realize it’s many times my own fault, for lack of a better word, for assuming judgment on others’ part of my mess, so I’m publicly saying that I’m going to try to let that go.

Of course, I can’t ignore the“must-do’s” but I’ve decided to put everything else off until ‘tomorrow’ and spend time with my family instead; I want Reid (and heck, Matt, tooJ) to have fun and to remember my smile and my laugh. (Because they’re guys, they’re  as heck not going to remember or notice the mess!)  And I don’t care if you think this is stupid, I want my dog to have a good quality of life and in turn, caring for them is caring for myself. I will be happier, too, if I just finally need to give myself and accept a break. 

Starting right after this…because #TMI, but I technically wrote this via voice to text note on my phone (hands free) while driving AND pumping (which is a WHOLE OTHER thing for another time).

Like Father, Like Son?

I wrote in a letter now framed in baby’s room that “…if you are anything like your dad, the world will be a better place.”  I meant that it would be great if our baby was as kind, caring and laid-back as Matt (also, I really want him to have dimples).  Well, instead, it seems as if our dear, sweet boy has instead adopted his dad’s philosophy of time and is going to be late, two days post-term as I write this.

I don’t feel physically “DONE” or uncomfortably miserably as some pregnant family and friends of mine have described toward the end (feel so incredibly fortunate to still be able to get plenty of sleep), but I am entirely mentally bummed out he isn’t here.  What’s he waiting for? I get it, it’s cold outside but I’ve told him, that’s what blankets are for – and trust me, we have PLENTY of blankets (and clothes, and toys, books and anything he could possibly need).

I’ve tried a few old wives tales, but I can only eat so much pineapple. And I’m sick of the concerned, seeming judgmental stares from gym-goers while walking on the treadmills. I’m just going to have to resign myself to HIS timetable, however frustrating that is for type-A me. Again, of ALL the traits to take from Matt…

Here’s hoping when he does come, he’s extremely apologetic and wants to spend his whole life making it up to me by listening to and following every word I say from here on out. J